In years back, I was so worried of jogging or so called long distance running. I was damn lousy in running, besides the speed running like 100m or 200m, I was never good at long run.
After the cycling trip, my teammates keep encouraging me in running, especially WL, the King of The Road.
I doubt at myself, can I do that? Immediately I heard an answer from the dark side of me saying ‘No’. The most I can run continuously without any stop/rest is 3km, excuse me, and were you just said 10km?
On the way home from Kuantan – KL while I was driving, I kept thinking ‘Can I run?’ Can I run on the road as well as WL and CW? Oh My God, running is my major weakness!
Doubt and Will were co-existed at the same time. Now is the war time between both of them, I felt the tug-of-war between Doubt and Will.
After coming back from PCC Interstate, I kept my bike aside. In fact it is too exhausted and need a rest. I made up my mind to overcome this obstacle which blocking my way heading towards running. I grabbed the last chance of the last day of Mega Sales, bought a pair of Nike’s running shoes.
That’s the start of the running history in my life.
For the first time I ran at Shah Alam Lake, the result was extremely terrible. I was so disappointed to myself, and start blaming myself why am I spending so much on the running shoes yet it did not help….
Sub conscious mind is conquering my brain. Am I going to give up? When I was resting beside the lake, I told myself, this is only the beginning my dear, you can’t become an excellent horse without training.
So I made a rendezvous to myself at this lake again tomorrow.
The next day, I came to the same battle filed, ran on the same running track, and the same situation happened exactly the same. At the first 2km, I exhausted like hell, loosen strength at my tight, I can’t step any movements further anymore! I just stopped and regret. That's sucks!
It was disappointment again.
When I was about to give up running, I somehow ‘saw’ a group of people running great in front of me, and look, they were WL, CW and gang!
I told myself, no worry my dear, training takes time, no one can perform freaking well at the first time! Come again next time, let’s show your unleashed power!
Apparently the Will is more likely to win the Doubt.
The last time I was running, I start feeling satisfaction at my running record. Although it was not comparable with CW/WL/RW, but I noticed that I had improvement throughout every training.
Every time before I start running, I gave myself a target, let’s say today I’m going to run one round in 15 minutes, or simply just telling myself no matter how long I take, I got to finish two rounds.
Normally for the first round of the lake that I ran (too bad I don’t even know the distance), it was like the warming up level, it is a milestone and bottleneck, once I hit that level successfully, I can last longer. That’s the most vulnerable time of giving up, when that evil mind rises, I start thinking of the Nike advertisement, Leave the Old You at Behind!
And I kept running.
Day by day, training by training, I see improvement, feel satisfaction, I almost whacked the old mine down and left it behind. The most dangerous enemy is me myself, every training I was fighting within myself. I’m not comparing my running performance with others, but with the last’s me.
It’s simply the greatest feeling of wining me myself.
Since I have the Will, that’s why there is a Way. Let me train the wild horse to be the best before letting it goes to unleash its power.